Chaos, something not created by God but something that still very much exists, sometimes at the very center of our being, mostly created out of own impatience as we hopefully anticipate long awaited desires and trudge through the days lined out for us with complaining attitudes and broken hearts, thus creating confusion, doubt, and worry in the wake of the unlimited space in our minds.

As I escaped the craziness of my own thoughts last night and chose instead to seek solitude at the waters edge, I expected to find what I always do…wave after wave pounding the beach which would have given relief to my weariness in a way that would almost justify my own pounding, relentless feelings. Instead, I was met with a water so calm and peaceful that it almost gave the illusion of a stagnant pond, the water barely lapping against the shoreline…just barely. The only real clue that I was situated by a massive gulf teaming with life was a lonely pelican, sitting with me in the darkness under the expanse of the starry host in the magnificent sky. I watched his silent form only feet from me and I prayed that God would show my why He chose to bring that solitary bird into my view. Then it hit me.

For so long, I have been running on empty, completely depleting myself, unable to say “No”, always afraid of what others would do or say if I did. For so long, I “fished” alongside people whose approval I was seeking above God’s instead of casting my own net at His command.

With every step I took toward that lonely, beautiful creation that God put before me, with only the best of intentions, the pelican moved further away until eventually he flew into the darkness. Upon further research a bit later of the pelican, I stumbled across a statement that took my breath away.

“The pelican has been persecuted because of their PERCEIVED competition with commercial fishermen.”

It’s all in the MIND…perception is key.  Who am I working for? Who am I truly seeking? God wants nothing more than for me to take a step back into the solitude that He created for me. I am to give myself completely to Him and to walk side by side with Him in this season is to be in His perfect will. I have an audience of ONE and He is my Master. The pelican flew away from me because of his ingrained lack of trust in failing humans, but He flew directly into the arms of our God, going only where he was told to go. Fear breeds chaos.

Lord, guide my every step as I step out in faith and cast my net where you tell me to. Direct me, Lord, and balance my steps. Show me the way to go as I fear not the path you have chosen…for me.

Matthew 4:18-20 (NIV) – As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” 20 At once they left their nets and followed him.

1 Corinthians 3- 16 (MSG) –  I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate—I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it—and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else. But the Message came through anyway. God’s Spirit and God’s power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God’s power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else.

6-10 We, of course, have plenty of wisdom to pass on to you once you get your feet on firm spiritual ground, but it’s not popular wisdom, the fashionable wisdom of high-priced experts that will be out-of-date in a year or so. God’s wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don’t find it lying around on the surface. It’s not the latest message, but more like the oldest—what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. The experts of our day haven’t a clue about what this eternal plan is. If they had, they wouldn’t have killed the Master of the God-designed life on a cross. That’s why we have this Scripture text:

No one’s ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it—
What God has arranged for those who love him.

But you’ve seen and heard it because God by his Spirit has brought it all out into the open before you.

10-13 The Spirit, not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along. Who ever knows what you’re thinking and planning except you yourself? The same with God—except that he not only knows what he’s thinking, but he lets us in on it. God offers a full report on the gifts of life and salvation that he is giving us. We don’t have to rely on the world’s guesses and opinions. We didn’t learn this by reading books or going to school; we learned it from God, who taught us person-to-person through Jesus, and we’re passing it on to you in the same firsthand, personal way.

14-16 The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature, can’t receive the gifts of God’s Spirit. There’s no capacity for them. They seem like so much silliness. Spirit can be known only by spirit—God’s Spirit and our spirits in open communion. Spiritually alive, we have access to everything God’s Spirit is doing, and can’t be judged by unspiritual critics. Isaiah’s question, “Is there anyone around who knows God’s Spirit, anyone who knows what he is doing?” has been answered: Christ knows, and we have Christ’s Spirit.