Recently, I found myself standing perplexed, hurt, and flat out confused in a situation that had me more than baffled. I have been praying for days for a fresh revelation from the Lord, especially in this regard, and I got it. We always get what we ask for, and sometimes even what we don’t.
When I first came to Christ, my life was already a jumbled mess of a past dying condition of the heart and more questions than answers. It was a bunch of puzzle pieces to an artistic interpretation that wouldn’t dare grace the table of anyone I knew. That alone made me doubt that it could be put back together in a beautiful masterpiece that not only pleased the Lord, but also gave an air of beauty to those around me. No one on earth could tell me how the puzzle could be arranged, but God…as He waited patiently for me to throw out my cherished pieces that I thought were my personal rights and ideas from preconceived notions about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness, God was continuing to grace the pile of pieces with the right ones, and not the wrong ones. What happened then? I stood there and pouted, unwilling to let go of the old that I had rightfully acquired and I fought like mad to hold onto the familiar. How sad. And what a wreck. Who do I really think I am saying, “This is just how God made me and I am going to stay this way and use every excuse in the book to justify this irrational behavior and I am not changing for anyone! It is just the way I am!!” Let’s get real, folks.
While God stood by and watched me, I stood with arms closed and fists clenched while I watched from my own perspective and view from my window on the crazy train. What an example I was setting for others watching…and granted, that trip around the mountain was a total distraction from the puzzle itself and no pieces (right or wrong) moved onto the table. While He was waiting on me, He placed the border on my picture, the easiest part of a puzzle, giving me boundaries, definition, and limits in a godly sense on my new picture, something that was completely foreign to me.
Finally, I was handed my first piece to place into my very own picture, and I ran like mad from one end of the frame to the other trying desperately to shove it in wherever it fit and in all the wrong places and with no help from God. I finally threw my piece on the ground and screamed, “But it doesn’t fit anywhere, God!” My patient God said, “Sure it fits…and I knew where the whole time.” Next, I was allowed my own turn at the pile of pieces and chose the most gorgeous, most beautiful, biggest piece I could find, the one God wasn’t ready for me to have. I had forgotten that there is an order and a larger purpose to the arranging of the pieces. I can’t put bright colored beautiful pieces on foundation that is not strong to hold it. So, what does the foundation of my puzzle look like?
Galatians 5:22-23 – But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control.
Ahhh, the fruits of the Spirit, mixed in with that other word…PATIENCE…and of course a bit of rest, and the wrong pieces that are still in that pile that are in my grasp but must be let go of.
Ephesians 4:2 – Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
Psalm 27:13-14 – I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!
Matthew 11:28-30 – Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
My stubbornness in refusing to lay down the seemingly boring foundation ahead of the flashy pieces that are so gorgeous to look at is threatening the entire puzzle that has taken years to build. It is my desire to have foundation balance and THIS is something worth fighting for, incredibly easy to attain, and never can be done in my own strength and will.