All I can do sometimes to hold it together is just that…hold it together. My flesh is eating away at me and I tremble from my little dose of reality. My heart is broken, but I am allowing God to stitch it up. He is flooding me with His peace, even though each stitch feels like a hot knife. The soothing balm of the blood of Jesus is immediately applied as God mends my heart. I told someone recently that being on the battlefield is tough. I get knocked down and slapped around by the enemy on a consistent basis. I fall flat on my back on the cold, wet ground and all I can do is look up into the sky as a war rages around me. As soon as I stagger again to my feet, brush myself off, thank God for His protective armor, and pull my sword from my sheath, I’m down again. Here is the thing. I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. I am grateful for the gifted and anointed people who fight beside me. The hits keep coming at me, but all they do as serve as a reminder of the promises God gave me. If Satan comes against me so severely, what does he know about my Kingdom purpose that I don’t know that he pummels me this hard?
Deuteronomy 20:1-4 (NIV) – When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. 2 When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall come forward and address the army. 3 He shall say: “Hear, Israel: Today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them. 4 For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”
I had been living on the streets addicted to anything and everything. Addiction breeds selfishness. I was lost to my own thinking which always landed me on another corner in another city. Even when clean, it was all about me and everyone else was to blame. After arriving at Jacob’s Well Recovery Center for Women, God moved in my life and I had a choice to make. I could either stay stuck in the darkness of my depraved mind, or I could expose it to the Light of Truth and Salvation. Learning the truth about who Julie Keene is was uncomfortable at best, but the relief that came in the process was amazingly bearable. I was afforded not just one, but two 6 month stays at that anointed work and worship program. I came back the second time because my unwillingness to expose the WHOLE truth the first time became evident in my walk in the world.
Susan Haynes Brogan says it best, “Jesus has two powers, the power to save and the power to transform. Everyone desires to be saved, but are you willing to undergo the hard process of transformation?” Transformation for me was the toughest part, but I thank God for the people of Jacob’s Well showing me the purpose behind the pain. I had to let go of a LOT, but he hardest thing I learned to let go of was MYSELF and my own selfish desires. This is a HARD pill to swallow and I am preaching to myself today. We are not alone in this fight. Please, Lord, change my mind and my attitude.
You can read Deuteronomy 18-26 about various laws that prepared the Israelites to enter the Promised Land at www.biblegateway.com. Join in the discussion by posting comments or questions below and let’s do this together!! #ReadtheBible #bgbg2 #BibleGateway #Deuteronomy
To further your reading, and to dive a bit deeper, consider this from Psalm 2o:7– Some trust in chariots and some in horses,but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
Who do you trust when the army is rising up against you – even the army that is being led by your own MIND? Is that army boasting in it’s power over your life? The might of our lives is not in weapons from our flesh and mouths, but from worship and PRAISE in God’s power and not our own!