Joy has left the party, Anger, Disgust, and Fear are running amuck, and Sadness is making everything look blue and grim. I just watched a movie yesterday that had me thinking…HARD. Who would have thougth that a Disney movie like “Inside Out” would have such an affect on someone in such a spiritual way? Now, I KNOW that feelings are not a good compass when making decisions, but it’s our feelings that have such a direct impact on our lives. When we allow our feelings to take over, everything becomes muddied at best. When our feelings work together, they can produce amazing results and memories of long ago no longer get lost to the “Memory Dump”. Example? I’m tired. I am completely worn out. My body decided to shut down in it’s feeble attempt to make everything happen in it’s own strength and I ended up stuck in bed and in my pajamas for a full 24 hours. I lost myself in the process and decided not to feel ANYTHING at all because none of it was working for me. Memories flooded from a life lived long ago and I was overwhelmed with grief, wondering if I was ever going to be THAT girl again. Anger didn’t help but only made things worse. Fear was a lost cause because I’m not really afraid, just overly cautious. I’m not really Disgusted at anything other than my own reactions to certain situations and unfortunaly Disgust’s friend, Entitlement, has come to the show. Joy is nowhere to be found, and Sadness….well, Sadness is the only feeling I choose to hang on to. In walk the questions: Where is all this coming from, this sadness? Why is it raining all the time? Rain makes me miserable. Why am I having to put on masks everyday so that others think that everything is ok? Why can’t I just sleep all day long? Just one day? Where is God? Why is He silent? Is it because I haven’t picked up my Bible in almost a week? When do I have time? Why does it have to be so hard? Why can’t I get out of this slump? What must I do to change how I feel? What has happened to my prayer life? How do I just pick up and start again? Does anyone see me? Is it obvious that I am hurting? Why am I hurting? Is this really what I am supposed to be doing? Am I really following my calling? Why do people I love leave? Am I fulfilling my purpose? What is my purpose? What about my relationships? Are those real? Am I who God says I am? Do I belong?
Here is what I learned in that simple movie. All of the feelings work together, even Sadness, to bring us closer to the Truth and everlasting Joy! I opened the Bible on the shelf, dusted it off, and dove into the Word of God to remind myself of where it all comes from, how it all comes together, and to find the answers to all these depressing questions. Here is what I found in the many promises:
1 Peter 4:12-13 – Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoiceinasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
1 Corinthians 10:13 – No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Romans 15:13 – May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Deuteronomy 31:8 – The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Today is a new day, I am back on track and back on schedule. I am going to move forward and quiet all the voices that clamor for attention in the mass between my ears. I realize that everything works out out for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28), so why am I worrying? Moving on, moving forward, and trusting God with my life that He gave me. Today, I am putting the ball back in His court!!