What is normal? I’ve been on a pretty even keel lately, as if the waves of uncertainty that crash around me have finally settled down for just a moment and are merely lapping at the side of my boat with the gentle breeze blowing in the wind. Is this what normal feels like? I’m so used to the storms of life that take me under and into the great deep unknown. I always desired to be normal but I never felt like it was attainable. I always knew I was different but I strongly desired to be like everyone else. That caused me to hate myself even more when I didn’t feel like I could keep up with the Jones’ and it became another excuse to check out of my painful existence and dive deeper into the realms of darkness. My definition of normal changed with the tide. It was always dependent on who I was around and what THEIR definition was.
Wow! That doesn’t define me at ALL! As a follower of Christ, I am called to stand out, not to fit into a mold that society created. Sure, the white picket fence and cute little dog and 2.5 kids sounds great, but isn’t that what everyone else says will make me happy? Why?
Romans 12:2 (NIV) – Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
I am so used to extremes, that being still and patient and ok with all that is surrounding me and coming against me is not MY normal. Each day for me is beginning to take on a new wonder of generality and it’s beautiful! I’m creating and defining a new “normal” and I don’t care what anyone else has to say about what that looks like. I’m at peace. Why fit in when I can stand out? I may be worn out from this journey, falling into my bed each night exhausted from the trip. I may be weary, but it means I have made a difference. I may be mentally challenged every single day to the point of feeling insane because of the attack of the enemy, but I can rest in the presence of God and know who HE says I am. I am NOT normal, nor do I desire to be. The basis of my self-worth is my identity in Christ, not man.