I’m learning very quickly that pride is my biggest downfall. You would think that ego wouldn’t continue to get in the way of nearly everything I try to do, but it does. Have you ever seen a car wreck? It’s as if everything is moving in slow motion, although your brain is functioning and you see what is happening so clearly, metal crashing into metal, smoke and tires spinning, it is wrong. But there is nothing at all that you can do to stop it. You know that it’s going to hurt either yourself or someone else. You are helpless. That’s how I feel in regards to the sin of pride.
I know exactly when pride entered my life, when it began to form a deep root that spread its tentacles to the parts of my heart that I didn’t know existed. It was when my dad went to prison and everything I thought I knew about life, family, trust, love, hope, and security went out the window and pride, justification, humiliation, confusion, doubt, insecurity, rejection, fear, self-loathing, and anger flew in. All at the ripe old age of 11. The thing about pride today in my life is I recognize it, I see it, I know it is there, I can feel it sending its poison from the deep root up to the surface and forming lies in my mind but before I know it, I speak or act and then it is too late. I have a wreck. I begin to rely on my own skills and strength in whatever situation I find myself in and I begin to misjudge…everything.
Joshua 7:10-12 (NIV) – The Lord said to Joshua, “Stand up! What are you doing down on your face?11 Israel has sinned; they have violated my covenant, which I commanded them to keep. They have taken some of the devoted things; they have stolen, they have lied, they have put them with their own possessions. 12 That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemies; they turn their backs and run because they have been made liable to destruction. I will not be with you anymore unless you destroy whatever among you is devoted to destruction.
I was made liable to destruction because I was unwilling to learn my lesson and remove pride from my life. It’s a sneaky little sucker. It is actually the base from which most of my decision that are out of whack jump from. God has explicit commands. Remove anything that hinders.
Galatians 5:7-9 (NIV) – You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? 8 That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you.9 “A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.”
I am sinful and He alone is Holy. If I run to Him BEFORE opening my big mouth, I might can avoid the inevitable crash.
Proverbs 16:18 (NIV) – Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.