I was a nomad, moving from place to place, always looking for a way out of my mess. It comes natural to me. We moved a LOT when I was a kid. I think I moved at least 20 times by the time I graduated college, and all in the same town. It was after I graduated college that I realized moving away meant running away. That was when I started with the “Geographical Cure”. My mom got into a terrible car accident while I was finishing my senior year in college. It was terrifying. I was ending a bad relationship at the same time, so moving away after graduation was a way to escape. So I did. The military was responsible for some moves, but I always left destruction in my wake. After my divorce, moving was the only option, then after my suicide attempt, another move to another state. Always moving, always seeking something, always looking for peace; a place where people didn’t know me, a place where I could at least try, a new beginning, and always a new failure. IT DOESN’T WORK. Why? Because I always took myself with me. My free will and choices put me in bad places. The enemy was always waiting with open arms at the front door because God didn’t put me there.
Exodus 20:1-4 – I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and forth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
Other gods…drugs, alcohol, people, money, work, things, situations; each one representing a different aspect of life…I worshiped them and concentrated on them for personal identity. And I always ended up back in my Egypt, my land of slavery. I got stuck chasing a nightmare because I didn’t obey this very simple command to live in the dream.
Isaiah 59:1-2 – Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.
I cut myself off from the one thing that could actually save me. I sat in isolation with my little gods and wondered why in the world I couldn’t get it right.
Ephesians 2:1-10 – As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.